Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. by Brené Brown, published in 2018, is a book that focuses on leadership grounded in vulnerability, courage, and empathy. Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, is known for her work on vulnerability, courage, and shame. In Dare to Lead, she brings these concepts into the realm of leadership, arguing that the most effective leaders are those who lead with their whole hearts and embrace difficult conversations and challenges with bravery.
The central theme of the book is that true leadership involves creating a culture of trust, embracing vulnerability, and fostering an environment where people feel safe to bring their authentic selves to work. Brown emphasizes that leadership is not about being the smartest person in the room or having all the answers; it’s about building meaningful connections, supporting others, and showing up with courage and empathy.
1. The Importance of Vulnerability in Leadership
- One of the core concepts in Dare to Lead is the idea that vulnerability is not a weakness but a strength. Brown explains that leaders who are willing to be vulnerable—who are open about their mistakes, uncertainties, and fears—create a culture where people feel safe to do the same.
- Vulnerability is necessary for creativity, innovation, and collaboration. Brown explains that the best leaders are those who can take risks, ask for help, and admit when they don’t know something. Vulnerability is about courage—it’s the willingness to show up, be seen, and take risks despite the fear of failure or judgment.
2. Trust and Building a Culture of Connection
- Trust is a foundational element of effective leadership. Brown argues that leaders must foster a culture where trust is built through everyday interactions, and this is done by being consistent, transparent, and reliable. She also highlights that trust is earned and that it is the responsibility of leaders to create a space where people feel psychologically safe.
- Brown also defines trust through an acronym called BRAVING:
- Boundaries: Setting and respecting boundaries.
- Reliability: Doing what you say you’ll do.
- Accountability: Owning your mistakes and learning from them.
- Vault: Keeping confidences and respecting others’ privacy.
- Integrity: Acting from a place of honesty and moral principles.
- Non-judgment: Offering empathy and understanding, without judgment.
- Generosity: Giving others the benefit of the doubt.
- Building trust is not about grand gestures but about small, everyday actions that show you’re dependable and committed to creating a safe and supportive environment.
3. Courageous Leadership and the Power of Risk
- Leadership, according to Brown, requires courage, especially in moments of uncertainty or fear. Courageous leaders are those who are willing to step into the unknown, take risks, and make tough decisions—even when the outcome is unclear.
- Brown also emphasizes that courageous leaders are willing to engage in tough conversations, confront difficult issues, and challenge the status quo. She stresses that leadership is not about avoiding conflict or discomfort but about facing those challenges with integrity and authenticity.
- She advocates for a leadership style where leaders are able to question the norm, create space for others to speak their truth, and stand up for what they believe in—even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular.
4. The Power of Shame Resilience
- Shame is a powerful emotion that can hold people back from stepping into their full potential. Brown discusses the importance of building shame resilience in both ourselves and our teams. She defines shame resilience as the ability to recognize shame triggers, respond to them with self-compassion, and not allow shame to dictate our behavior.
- For leaders, it’s essential to foster an environment where shame is not used as a tool for control, and where people feel empowered to take risks without fear of being humiliated or ostracized. Leaders can build this kind of environment by being compassionate, supportive, and empathetic.
5. Embracing Feedback and Tough Conversations
- Brown stresses the importance of feedback and tough conversations in leadership. She encourages leaders to create a culture where feedback is seen as a tool for growth, not as criticism. Embracing feedback requires vulnerability—it’s about listening, learning, and being open to improvement.
- She also advocates for leaders to lean into difficult conversations—whether they involve conflict, mistakes, or uncomfortable truths. Being willing to have these conversations with empathy and curiosity can lead to stronger relationships and better outcomes.
- Brown’s approach to tough conversations is grounded in compassion and respect. She suggests that instead of avoiding difficult topics, leaders should approach them with openness and a focus on resolution, not blame.
6. Leading with Whole Hearts
- A key message in Dare to Lead is that wholehearted leadership is the most effective form of leadership. Brown defines wholeheartedness as the ability to show up as your true, authentic self—embracing both your strengths and vulnerabilities.
- Wholehearted leaders are committed to showing up fully, with courage and vulnerability. They lead with a sense of purpose, engage deeply with their teams, and foster a sense of belonging and connection. These leaders understand that people are not just workers—they are humans with emotions, challenges, and aspirations.
- Brown also talks about the importance of self-compassion and boundaries in leading wholeheartedly. Leaders must recognize that they cannot give their best if they are not taking care of themselves first. This includes setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-care, and being kind to themselves, especially when facing setbacks or challenges.
7. Rising Strong After Setbacks
- A recurring theme in the book is the importance of resilience. Brown highlights that leaders, like anyone, will face failure, mistakes, and setbacks. However, resilient leaders are those who can rise strong after experiencing these difficulties.
- Brown outlines a three-step process for rising strong:
- The Reckoning: Acknowledge the emotions and challenges you are facing.
- The Rumble: Engage with those emotions, reflect, and learn from them.
- The Revolution: Make changes, implement lessons, and move forward with newfound knowledge.
- Resilience is about facing adversity, owning your mistakes, and using the experience to grow. For leaders, it’s important to model this process for their teams, showing that setbacks are opportunities for growth rather than moments of failure.
8. The Importance of Empathy and Connection
- Brown argues that empathy is a vital leadership skill. Leaders must be able to connect with others on a human level, offering support, understanding, and compassion. Empathy helps build trust and fosters an environment where people feel safe to take risks and speak their truth.
- Empathy is not about fixing problems or offering solutions immediately—it’s about being present, listening deeply, and understanding what someone else is experiencing. When leaders lead with empathy, they create a culture of openness and connection, which is essential for team success.
The Overall Message
Dare to Lead is a call to leaders to embrace vulnerability, courage, and empathy as essential components of effective leadership. Brené Brown argues that the most impactful leaders are those who show up authentically, create safe spaces for others, and embrace tough conversations with an open heart.
Rather than focusing on control or authority, Brown’s approach emphasizes the importance of creating a culture based on trust, connection, and respect. True leadership, she says, is about building relationships, fostering belonging, and helping others rise to their potential.
If you’re interested in diving deeper into any of the concepts or how to apply them in your own leadership journey, feel free to ask!